On the 20 September 2011 I got a call that changed my life forever. It was ‘THE CALL’ the one that I had been waiting for since we started our adoption screening in mid 2010. I was out of the country on a business trip at the time and the last person I expected to get a call from was my social worker. When I first saw her name flashing on my phone my typical infertile mindset automatically assumed that this was a call about paperwork, little did I know that this was the call that would end our long journey to a family.
We did our first IVF in 2005. At that stage I knew that I had serious endometriosis and I was told that I would definitely need some help conceiving. Two negative IVF’s later we were told that endometriosis wasn’t my only problem. My FSH was elevated and we weren’t getting good results with my eggs. So at the age of 27 I was told that it was highly likely that I had premature ovarian failure. I was advised to use donor eggs if I wished to conceive. We took some time to think about it and decided to try an IVF with Donor eggs. Our 2006 attempt was a failure, in fact out of the five eggs we had NONE of them fertilised. We were broken, so we took a break.
In 2008 we got back on the horse and by 2009 we had scraped together some savings. We recruited a donor through an agency and went ahead with another Donor IVF. To our absolute joy we got our first BFP, but unfortunately it was not to be. My betas were very wonky and a seven week scan showed no heartbeat……D &C.
2010 started off with a bang!!! An FET where we transferred four embryos! This was sure to work right? Wrong….another negative and more heartbreak.
We decided to have one last try. We recruited a new donor and attempted another fresh donor egg cycle which ended in a devastating NEGATIVE!
Hubby and I had decided that this would be the last IVF. We were sick of fertility treatment and we were tired of picking ourselves up over and over again. We wanted a family and we didn’t need that to happen through a pregnancy.
We approached two different social workers and went through the screening process. We both found the screening process difficult. Once you have experienced all the prodding and poking that goes with fertility treatment, you feel that there couldn’t be anything more invasive. The difference was that the adoption screening put more of a focus on your life, your marriage, your psyche, your health and your finances. In fact, your entire life is under a microscope. We understood the reasons for this approach, but our tired minds made it feel difficult.
But the end of 2010 our screening was over and we were officially on the waiting list. I joked that we could consider ourselves ‘pregnant’, it was just the length of the pregnancy that would be different.
We were lucky and we got the call on the 20 September 2011. A birth mother had chosen our profile and the baby was being born on the 24th September. The feeling was OVERWHELMING, AMAZING and very very SUREAL.
Our beautiful baby boy was born on the 24th September. I can still remember the first time I saw him. He was so perfect and so beautiful and I couldn’t believe that this was really happening to us.
My husband and I are in agreement, adoption was the best choice for us. It has lead us to a beautiful place with a beautiful family.